Budweiser Abandoning The Clydesdale Holiday Commercials For The First Time Since 1987

(NEWSER) – Some familiar faces won’t be around this year in holiday advertising: the Budweiser Clydesdales. Parent company Anheuser-Busch InBev is ditching the horses, which have been regulars in Christmas ads since 1987, in its quest to win over younger drinkers, reports the Wall Street Journal. This year’s ads will instead have people in their 20s looking into the camera and calling out the names of friends as a narrator intones, “If you could grab a Bud with any of your friends these holidays, who would it be?” writes theJournal. One big reason why: Nearly half of drinkers ages 21 to 27 have never tried a Bud, and the marketing gods have apparently decided that the horses are too old-fashioned.

Well I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with young drinkers and why they dont like these commercials but this is a goddam tragedy. Literally almost my entire life I’ve known the Budweiser Clydesdales. They make me cry more than anything on television. When they honored NYC on the 10th anniversary of September 11th? Waterworks. The one where the guy raises the horse and lets him become a Clydesdale and three years later at the parade the horse recognizes him and comes running down the street to see him? Wept like a baby. #BestBuds last year with the Puppy Love? Fucking FORGET ABOUT IT. I was sobbing at that one. Not like my eyes welled up a little. Like tears down my face and I was making those heaving noises like I couldnt catch my breath. Welcoming home the soldiers. All of them. I cry more at commercials with these horses than I cried at my grandma’s funeral. And each and every time it made me wanna go drink a good old fashioned Red White and Blue Budweiser with my friends and family.

I dont know what hits home with the young bucks these days. Maybe they need some commercials with techno music and Jenna Marbles on their instagram or some shit. But I do know what makes for a good commercial and that’s those goddam horses doing inexplicably heartwarming human shit.  Bring back the Clydesdales! Bring back the Clydesdales!